Odd humor for a god
by TheSilentJackofallTrades
Summary: My Crackfic. Death and Balance put the heroes and villains in one area, forcing them to interact. Bashing galore.
1. Chapter 1

Me: Hello, this TSJoaT, and my awesome bata, Bloodfox64.

Blood: Ya, ya, just get to writing.

Me: Anyway, I would like to introduce the jackasses from the box canyon in the middle of nowhere.

Griff: That's cold man, Cold

Sargent Flowers: Why can't we all be friends? Back in my day...ARGGGggagagarra...ahhh.

Doc appears from behind him as speaks.

Doc: I gave him an aspirin; my scanner showed he had a migraine, probably from coming back to life or whatever.

Cabouse: Ahh, about that, Sergeant Flowers is kind of, how do we put this...

Sarge: Cabouse, as much as I would love to kill you (Mutters something about dam dirty blues) You don't have to tell him that Flowers is allergic to aspirin, and he just killed a superior officer, let someone like Church do that.

Doc: WHAT! Ikilledhim, ohmydeargodikilledhim... (Runs in the back ground screaming.)

Church: Way to go dumbass.

Sarge: Church, you should not be calling doc that! He made a mistake, and killed him. No, he did the right thing, and killed one of you blues! Good job doc! You want to join red team?

Church: I was talking to yo- Oh fuck it, forget I said anything.

Tex walks up to him.

Tex: I see you have everything under control.

Tucker: Bow-chicka-bow wow!

Griff stands in front of someone, and mutters to her.

Simmons and Donut talk to Griff, both wondering about who he is trying to force to be discreet.

Simmons: Hey Griff, who's that? Wait, is that your sister?

Tucker in back ground 'bow-chicka-bow wow!' Church: 'shut up'

Donut: Oh boy, a girl, we can have girl time, you know how to do nails?

Lopez whacks him from behind.

Lopez: programa de dona dejar de hacer comentarios gay completa. ¿Cómo estás, cabrón racista, y la chica que maté. Espera, ¿cómo vivo? Te destrozadas, que se ahogó, y tomó todos los órganos vitales de ti.

(program stop donut from making gay comments complete. How are you, you racist bastard, and girl I killed. WAIT, how are you alive? I blown you apart, drowned you, and took every vital organ out of you.)

Simions: Lopez, this is Griffs sister, the one you apparently did not kill. Normally your efficient, what happened?

Lopez: Yo la maté, me llevó a su cerebro y lo utilizó como una pelota de fútbol.

(I killed her; I took her brain and used it as a football.)

She speaks up "Ya, I have a habit of not dying. And when did anyone need a brain? That's so out of style."

Lopez: Espera, ¿me entiende? Usted es un derecho de rojo?

(Wait, you can understand me? You're a red right?)

"No"

Washington, Andy the bomb and the alien baby come up.

Wash: I am never babysitting both at the same time again.

Tucker takes the baby, and Caboose Andy. Arguments ensue. Fights erupt, and Griff is fighting Tucker the fucker away from his sister.

Me: Well, they are all here but four...

Karma comes up with a brown bag, which is wiggling.

Karma: Well, I got the four, but are you sure about this?

Blood: Well you are El loco I mean you have her here? You MUST be going crazy! I mean I think the other three will get along but with her there it will be... you know...

Me: Complete havoc? And I know that they will get along. Oh, AND I AM COMPLETELY BONKERS! (To the readers.) I will talk with my crew at the end of each chapter. Think of this as a double feature comedy.

Karma: This is going to bite you back in the ass. You do know that.

Me: I know, all in good time. I have in this bag, Sirius Black (Harry potter), Angela the Hurbologest (Eragon), Sergeant Johnson (Halo), and Ronin Kenichi.

Blood: Whatever. Start the show.

How it all started.

You see, when you piss off a god, things normally don't go your way. At all.

Too many villains have fucked with death, and it's time to give a little humility to these fools once and for all.

Death crafted the one thing that was made to piss off the powerful. A room, that is see through from the outside.

Balance came around, and told him that he had to put balance to this, so death made a balance to it. She liked his way of doing it, and they sat down and got some popcorn and soda. Soon, every god was there, eating, and having fun like an episode of Family Guy.

The room. Mandra's POV

Mandra woke up, and jumped to his feet ready to fight. So were a bunch of other weaklings. Everyone is in a straight jacket.

Mandra: Who put me in here, I am an immortal, so choose your words well.

He noticed that everyone was soon glaring at him, and getting ready to start a beat down.

He checked himself, and he had no weapons. He tried to use chakra, but that failed.

One guy fell to his knees, and started to cry.

Voldamort was the crier.

Tom riddle: I have no wand! I have no magical tools!

Taturus (Halo 2. The big ape) :My hammer, and armor! It's missing!

Sesshomaru: My two swords! They are gone, who took them, I will kill you!

They were starting to laugh at voldamort, then at the ape, then they looked at Sesshomaru like he was nuts.

Dark samus spoke up.

Dark samus: Two dicks huh? And they are gone? Wow, how did you not wake up?

Sesshomaru: Vulgar human...you sick piece of shit.

Taturus: my hammer...and armor...

Beatrix (FF9) spoke up grinning at dark samus

Beatrix: Well, your left nut or your right? Or do you mean you only had one to begin with, and then it went missing?

Dark samus: And your condoms? I didn't know apes used them!

Tarturus looks at her weird. Then noticed Truth lying on the floor.

Tarturus: MY MASTER!

Dark samus: That would be low even for me to bash with.

Wolf (Star Fox): I'm not. Hey, you gays, I mean...Guys...no gay shit in here. Wait till you get your own room!

Three people are in a group, they seemed to have popped up next to each other naturally.

Darth Sidious, Orochimru, and Dumbledore, and they all ignore wolfs comment, rather to try to make allies in this situation. Two were political jackasses, and one was a liar. No difference.

Dumbledore: Well, this is an odd thing to happen.

Darth Sidious: At least we do not have to stay near the freaks like that wolf, or the ape.

Orochimaru: I am Orochimaru, glad to meet you both. I am the ruler of the elemental nations where I come from. (Lie)

Dumbledore: I am the ruler of the Order of the phoenix, and am the leader of the most powerful known nation where I come from.

Darth Sidous: I rule an empire, and have many fleets at my command.

Hey all grinned at each other like they were all friends, then see a boy walk by, they all stare, not at the tail, but at what was under it. Then at each other, and gap, a fellow perv!

Kuja was walking around the room, trying to find a weak point. There was none. He got a cold shiver down his spine.

He looked, and saw that three old and ugly men were staring at him.

Kuja: I am a man you fags.

All three looked at each other, and they kept on supptering things like, 'you too?' 'Your a child mol-' 'I am, but you also, and you?'

Kuja: Ok, I am getting out of here, as quickly as possible.

All three pervs: No, don't go, we want to...talk. How old are you?

Kuja ran off, and did not look back till he was sure they were not following him.

They look at each other and then they plot.

He hears one of them say, "Finally! Someone who understands my needs! Should we work together, he looks easy enough if we work together and take turns."

(I will have them killed soon enough.)

Kuja pukes, and then looks around for an ally. He looks for anyone that the gays were likely to target. He sees a man with one wing, young enough for the sickos. He runs up to him.

Kuja: Look, none of us have power here except for what our bodies can do, and I would like to call a truce till we go back to whatever universe we are meant to be in.

Sephieroth seen what happed, and could not help but be disturbed.

Sephieroth: I agree, and I can see why you came here. They sicken me just by looking at them.

Dumbledore winks at him.

Sephieroth: AGGGRR! MENTAL SCARING!

Kuja: Ok, we need to get out of here quick.

Someone yelled out something.

Naruku: Ok people, I think we get it, we all are people trying for world domination, or destruction.

They all nod, but dumbledore, who nodes quickly to be like his new friends.

Naruku: Well, split up with people you know, and then we can talk. I will count how many people are here.

They get to doing this, most muttering about how they were going to kick his ass if he thought that he could order them around.

Naruku finishes and yells the results

Naruku: Ok, 19 intelligent beings, and one robot.

Guilty Spark: Hello, I am 313 Guilty Spark, Monitor of the death gods entertainment system.

They stared at the thing, and it zapped Dumbledore, who raised his hand.

Guilty Spark: Don't be a pussy!

Dumbledore was twitching, and looked like he was just put into an oven.

Three aliens were soon at guilty spark

Truth: An Orical!

Guilty spark zapped him

Guilt: Wait your turn meat bag! Oh my! I have taken to the reclaimer Avery Johnson.

The Flood Arbiter, known as Rapa 'Moramee, jumped up, and flip kicked at Guilty Spark, who backed up to dodge it, and zapped him mid flip.

Guilt: Let's not get hasty now; we all are free thinking beings.

Orochimaru: You killed him! One of two people who understood my very…childish needs!

Beatrix: Did you check his pulse?

Orochimaru: Shut up, women!

Beatrix: Wow, this guy is either gay, or…wait.

Wolf: Childish needs? He is a child molester going after little boys!

Sephieroth: KILL HIM!

Every young guy was rushing to Sephieroth's side to fight Orochimaru right on the spot; everyone else just looked on, watching the free show.

Orochimaru: Come sidious, They will CUM to us!

He thought he was clever with his pun, Orochimaru did not relies that the death god castrated the pedtafile before putting them in there. So that way, if they do win, they will find no mental sex drive, and no physical way to have sex.

Kuja: You sick fuckers. I will personally kill you both.

Sephieroth: It's over.

He flashes behind them, and stomps him right foot, grinning.

The fools started to fly like a ping pong ball, what they don't know was that Sephieroth just did his famed flash strike, but with kicks, not his favorite sword.

Orochimaru survives, and Sidious flat out dodged the attack.

Sidious may not look like but he was rather healthy, it was just the dark side and his injury that made him look sickly.

Orochimaru could take a lot of damage…and the twos strait jackets fall off.

Sephieroth then engaged Orochimaru in hand to hand fighting, Orochimaru is double jointed, and Sephieroth has no powers.

Sephieroth though has his raw speed, and power of an experienced fighter, while Orochimaru has to get used to his body every three years.

Guilty spark spares Orochimaru as Sephieroth is about to finish the fight with a kick that would have made his heart explode from the inside.

Guilty Spark Zaps both, but leaves his zapper on Orochimaru a lot longer than he did Sephieroth.

Guilty Spark: I need him for entertainment! Do not kill him yet!

Sephieroth had his straight jacket back on, and Orochimaru asked a question.

Orochimaru: Ahh, I think they are killing Darth sidious….

Guilty spark: Thank you. Do you want to know how he is doing? His vital signs are…

Dark Samus interrupts: He is dead you sicko.

Guilty: Why…Oh I get it. Good entertainment.

He was knocked out, they just wanted to make this sicko miserable.

Ganondorf: Entertainment? Is this some sick joke?

He kicks the 'corpse'

Guilty Spark: Yes, of course it is, even the gods have fun.

Truth: An Orical! Of the humbling God of death no less!

(Zap) Truth (Zap) rapa 'moramee(Zap) Tarturus

Guilty Spark: I smell bacon!

They all look at each other, and shake their heads and then a man spoke up.

Galbatorix: I am Galbatorix, I am nobodies bitch!

He glares at everyone in the room. He points, and waves it across the room.

Galbatorix: YOU! MINE! I do not need you know you; you only need to know me. I WILL BE THE ONE!

He gets beat down by a man in a complete black suit of body armor.

Darth Vader: That was unwise to do old man.

Every one noticed Guilt zapping one person who starts to threaten him.

Guilt: Gravemind, you have no reason to be like this, the gods simply took away your powers, and gave you a human like body. Karma is a bitch sometimes, huh?

Guilt gets witched suddenly by another one.

Penitent Tangent: Hello, sorry for my formers rudeness, I am 2401 Penitent Tangent. FLOOD!

ZAPPPPPPPPP

Gravemind: I have with stood the testes of time, and the power of the forerunners, this beam is nothing.

Gravemind gets kicked him the balls by Armarant, who talks.

Armarant: How's that for power?

Gravemind spoke: Now I know why the humens were beat so easy, they have a vital weak point.

Every male looks down knowing he was right and the few females in here just start to laugh.

Outside the box, the good guys looking in.

Zidane woke and jumped up, he was on a grassy field, and he saw Kuja.

Zidane: Kuja? I thought you were dead?

There was an extremely loud yell of mostly every one picking up their best weapons and rushing at the room, yelling the name of the person they were going after. Zidane and a few others hold back. He looks around to see if any one he knows is here.

WHAM!

They bounce off the wall, that they did not see.

They look around, trying to find a way in, but could find none. Zidane was about to give up, then…he sees Fraya laying on top of a boy.

Naruto Uzumaki woke up with a weight on him. He feels softness on him, and can tell thanks to a lot of female rescues to tell a pair of boobs were on top of his face.

'Lucky me' He thinks, and then when she gets off of him, he finds it is NOT human.

Naruto/Fraya: AHHH! GET OFF OF ME!

Fraya gets up, and looks around. No one is restrained, but no one has any weapons either.

Fraya was embarrassed, humans and her kind are mateable, and she was not some ugly rat. She just had very light gray skin, cute ears, and a tail.

Naruto see's she is not a monster, and calms down. She reminded him of a normal person with a bloodline, so he had no problem treating her like a normal person after he realized she was not a monster.

Naruto: Hello, I am Naruto Uzumaki, the next hokage!

Fraya: I am Fraya.

They shake hands, and they look around. They see two kids fighting, and Naruto and Fraya run in to stop them, Zadaine joins them.

Naruto kicks one kid in the face knocking him out. Fraya smashed the other in the gut, and Zadaine then pins him.

Zadaine puts his hand out to Naruto.

Zadaine: Hello, I am Zadaine, Fraya's friend.

Naruto: Naruto Uzumaki, the next hokage.

They look around, and a guy with a duck ass hairdo, and weak looking arms walks up to them.

Sasuke: Naruto, I am here, where are we!

Naruto: Sasuke, what are you doing here? Never mind, We are are trying to see if anyone we know is here, then gather information.

Sakura and Kirin are on each side of him, and they glared at Zadaine. Fraya just smiled at them, and asked naruto a question.

Fraya: Naruto, are these girls friends of yours?

Naruto: The one with pink hair, her name is sakura, is my friend, the red head not so much.

Fraya: Damn, I was hoping to beat them up.

Sakura: Like you could!

Fraya simply jumps up.

No one can find her, then all of a sudden, she drops and starts to whack the crap out of her, and when Kirin jumps in, she gets the beat down also.

Sasuke: Please stop.

Fraya laughs at the boy in front of him, he looked weak, his arms were skinny, and he looked like he was pampered.

Sasuke: What's so funny?

Fraya: The fight I and Naruto just stopped.

They hear a voice.

Fujin: ENOUGH!

Seifer: Everyone find someone you know, and get to the left of the field, everyone who knows no one before entering here, go to the right.

Everyone but Selphie and Irvine listen for the mean time, just to get some order here.

Naruto stayed on the left along with Sasuke, Kirin, and Sakura. Garra, Haku, and Kankuro meet up with them.

Fraya and Zidane stayed nearby Narutos group, and Blank, Marcus, Echo, and Vivi joined them.

Naruto walked up to Fraya.

Naruto: Let me introduce...Sakura, Kirin, Sasuke, and Haku, Kankuro, and Garra. I am Naruto Uzumaki.

Fraya nodded, and replied.

Fraya: Nice to meet you all, I am Fraya, this is Blank, Marcus, Echo, and Vivi.

Garnet: ZIDANE!

Fraya: And this is Garnet.

The happy couple embraced, and they turned to Kuja inside, fighting alongside a man with one wing.

Zidane: At least he has friends.

They said their pleasantries, then everyone starts to question each other, then a loud voice spoke.

Death: I am the god of death! And I have brought you here for balance.

He conjured up a few sofas, and a bunch of popcorn bags.

Death: Watch, and enjoy.

Echo looked at Garra, and decided to see if he can be annoyed. They stared at each other, it became a contest

Naruto was starting to take bets with Marucs, when Garra grinned.

They stare, and Sakura stupidly speaks.

Sakura: She has a horn! and I thought I has a forehead problem...

Kirin: No, she has a zit problem, one you clearly have on you also.

Echo specks with out looking away.

Echo: Laugh all you want, its not like we well ever see each other again when we go back to our own worlds.

Fraya: So we will never see each other again after this?

She turns to Naruto

Fraya: Well, hope I never see you again after this.

Naruto: That's cold….

They look around, and they see people stating to fight, this is insane. Echo and Garra stop to look.

Death yawns, and snaps his fingers. The kids have their powers, and weapons.

Naruto feels power, and does a massive kage bunshin, and they start to kick ass.

A man with dog ears is swinging a large blade, and so is a kid with orange hair, they are fighting.

Inuyasha vs. Ichigo

Ichigo: You're going down for that dog breath!

Inuyasha: Shut up! What I said, It's the truth, ain't it?

They start to swing there blades, and they both yell.

Inuyasha: Wind Scar!

Ichigo: Piercer of Heaven!

The blast knocks a few people off balance, and they step it up a notch, Ichigo shoots off first.

Naruto starts to take bets with Blank, and Naruto starts to learn magic, and Blank learning chakra.

Ichigo: Enhanced Getsuga Tenshō!

Inuyasha: Backlash Wave!

Ichigo's attack comes right back at him, he counters by dodging it, and kicking Inuyasha in the gut, but gets punched for that one.

The growl at each other, and they prepare to take each other down. Inuyasha grins.

Naruto's POV The kiddy room.

Inuyasha: It's about time I take you down. Adamant Barrage!

Ichigo grins, and go's Bankai, and whacks the shards away, and Inuyasha does it again, and then Ichigo yells

Ichigo: Kuroi Getsuga!

The atamant barrage is redirected at Inuyasha, but he jumps over it, and sends a blade of blood at Ichigo.

It misses, and the orical comes and freezes it.

Death room.

Death: I got to go to the bathroom, pause reality...

TSJoaT: And that is that, for now.

BloodFox: You still suck. What are we going to do about the red and blue teams? And the guys in the sack?

TSJoaT: We can drop them in the lake with cement shoes?

BloodFox: NO! They are still...Whatever, do what you want. This chapter is over.

(Red team and blue team killing each other)

Random yell: Ahhh, no sticky nads in the groin!

Every one: SHUT UP CABOOSE!

TSJoaT: Take it like a man!

Blood Fox just shakes his head, and closes the laptop.


	2. Chapter 2

Omake 2

(This will be short because my bata is having troubling times)

TSJoaT: Hello dear children, how are you?

Cabbose: Ahh, were not children here, so ya….

Tex: For once he is right, this is a rated M story.

Tucker: What the fuck bitch, my kid is right here!

Alien baby: Gahh! Arrggaha!

Tex: If you cared for it, you would not cuss right in front of it…and it not human.

Tucker: You not a father-

Cabbose: Mother.

Tucker: (To cabbose) same difference you stupid fuck! (To Tex) Anyway, you would not understand.

Church: Look, can we just get to the story, I have a life you know.

Sarge: Yes, Of course you do, one that will be slowly taken away by someone…Hopefully a red…..Hopefully me.

Church: Just move on already!

Griff: Dude, we do nothing all day but do half assed attempts to kill each other, and stand guard doing nothing all day, every day, and we have crappy food.

Doc: At least we have water!

BloodFox64: Are they ready to be a part of this yet?

Doc: Oh, Donut? Ya, he is ok, he will be out for a few days.

TSJoaT: No, the other guys.

Doc: The ones you dragged here in a sack? Ya, they are, they simply have been waiting in the sack.

TSJoaT: You put them back in there? After they recovered?

Doc: You never told me where to put them, so I put them where I found them.

BloodFox64: Simmons, Lopez, Wash, get them out of there before Sirius go's after Angela!

TSJoaT: Huh?

BloodFox64: He was in prison for a long time. And innocent. If you got out, and you were stuck in a sack with a lady, who, by the way, is just as witty as he is, what would you think he would sooner or later do?

TSJoaT: I hope it won't go there.

(Screaming in background….AHHH!)

They look, and see that Simmons got beat.

Lopez and Washington were fighting off Angela and Sergeant Johnson. Sirius was chewing Simmons helmet shaking his head back and forth. (No Please! Not the face!) The dog pounced on Simmons chest, and growled, then Simmons was praying, then the dog got off, then slowly lifted its right leg, grinning.

Simmons: AHHH!

Kenichi: Sirius, don't do it...it's not worth it.

Sirius: Too late!

Simmons: Ah man, that's going to rust!

Lopez: Esta chica es un buen luchador ... Washington que pedir ayuda!

(This chick it a good fighter...Washington I request help!)

Angela: Yo te entiendo, gracias por el complemento! Así que el señor Robot, creo que necesita un cambio de aceite, su movimiento muy lento!

(I can understand you, thank you for the complement! So Mr. robotto, I think that you need an oil change, your moving too slow!) (Robotto is robot in Japanese.)

Lopez: Joder, ¿me entiendes? ¿Cómo es posible, tu ni siquiera de mi planeta?

(Holy shit, you understand me? How is that possible, you're not even from my planet?)

Angela pins Lopez, and flips a switch at the back of his head.

(Rapidly`speaking)Lopez:

(Lopez program offline)

Washington looks behind him to see Lopez lose.

Wash: Shit, he was the only good hand to hand fighter here besides Tex and myself!

Johnson stomps on Washington's foot, slipped his knee in between washes legs, lifted sharply, and punched him towards Angela, who commanded him to stop in mid air.

Angela: Magic bitch!

Wash: You got to be kidding me.

BloodFox64: Wow, how come you did not scream in pain when Johnson hit your balls?

Wash: I don't know what you're talking about…

TSJoaT: Well, I taped it…

(WHAM, Bang, SLAM! Letta! Random sounds…MAGIC BITCH!)

TSJoaT: Yup, no screams.

Wash: My armor…

BloodFox64: Whatever.

TSJoaT: Let the chaos continue!

(Everything becomes dark, a Tornado and lightning bold appear at the same time at same time)

BloodFox64: Nice job!

The gods truly do have one odd since of humor, to let this happen.

A prank war was in motion, one that will be spoken off in over fifty dimensions for years to come.

This is how it began….

The crowds were managed, and they made a council for leadership.

Squall Leonheart, Cloud Strife, Ichigo, Inuyasha, Eargon, Roran, Murtagh, and Seifer.

They were trying to plan on two things, Getting to the enemy, and to get to their home dimensions.

Naruto was mingling with the population now that there was a rule to have no battles in here.

Then a sack fell on his head.

Fred Weasley: HA! Got the orange!

George Weasley: Yes indeed, with the shit too.

Naruto: Did you just prank me?

The twins looked at each other, and then at Naruto.

Fred: And if we did?

Naruto: Then we got a problem.

Naruto already made shadow clones a while ago, so he had them sneak up on them, and with a spur of chakra, pulled up their underwear and put in on their heads. Then took the shit they put on him, and shoved it into their underwear, then put the underwear back and they started to scream. Then Naruto screamed out a few insults.

Naruto: They are playing with shit! Look, they have shity underwear! Run, they play with their own poop!

Every one started to run, and Naruto spoke.

Naruto: Never attack the master.

He left.

Fred: This means war.

George: Yes brother, let's get Harry, we need another pair of hands.

Fred: I love how we think.

They go grab harry, who was making friends with some kid named Percy, and they required both of their help. The Stoll brothers joined after Percy described a few pranks done by them.

The six set up a grand prank on Naruto, They would use magic, water, and arrows.

Naruto helping make a hot springs as it seemed they were going to be there a while.

Zadane, Garra (Big help with sand manipulation), Vivi (Huge help with magic), Blank, and some guy named Zell Dincht (FF8). He had nothing better to do, so why not?

They were having a good talk about chicks from some other universes, a grand verity of hot chicks.

George: Ok, I will poison the food to make them act like a bunch of dumb asses-

Percy: What if they already are dumb asses?

Connor: Good question.

Fred: I will give them the constant hard on's, neon pink skin, and have them farting like nothing before.

Travis: Nice.

George: Then right before they take effect, you do your parts, and we record the whole thing.

Harry: What is our parts?

George: Harry and Percy, you distract them with magic and water, dose them Percy and hide, Harry do prank jinks, and use the cloak.

Fred: I will give them the tainted food, George is look out.

George: Connor will use magic arrows to make the water hot or cold and Travis will use the prank arrows to knock down the wall to the ladies side that they finished.

Fred: Harry, make sure you hit them with the babbling fool jinks, which will make sure they can't talk their way out of the beating.

George: Travis, the arrows do have a lot of power, and can easily take down the wall, but they cannot hurt anyone. We tested this; not even the falling down rubble and stuff can hurt them.

Percy: Good plan!

They got ready, they did the prank.

1-049867=3420967=3409734976=340975=340957=340975=03497534=09875

Naruto's POV

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Naruto was done working for now, time for food!

They ate in peace, but they all noted that the food was a little different somehow, but not bad.

They were about to get back to work when they all started to give very bad gas.

Naruto: Putttttthhhhththhhhttthh…..

They all farting and saying wired things, but Naruto was able to say one thing before he too was saying stupid.

Naruto: A PRANK! COUNTER ATTACK!

Garra's sand was not working because of the water, and he was hit also.

Then they started to glow neon pink, and flames were coming out of their mouths.

Then the water was attacking them, and they started to look wired and other things.

Then they were dodging _arrows _The water was then freezing cold or scolding hot, still attacking them. Naruto did shadow clones, and then the water started to attack the clones, the guys huddled to Naruto, who started to throw prank note seals in the direction of laughing they then heard cursing, and they knew they got them.

Naruto then shoved them under the water when he saw an arrow hit the wall with a blast. He did a minor genjutsu to hide them as he carried them out of there.

They got dry, and watched the hot chicks put the wall back together naked. When they finished and went back to the ladies side, the affects wore off.

Zell: What the hell happened!

Naruto: The first move in a prank war.

Zadane then got an evil smile.

Blank: Do you know who did it?

Naruto: I know two of them, it had o be more then those two, they had help.

Vivi: They used a few magic's, and some power I am not familiar with.

Garra: Prank war? I am familiar with war, but not pranks….

Blank: A prank is a mischievous trick played on a person, especially one that causes the victim to experience embarrassment, indignity, or discomfort. Pranks are typically lighthearted and made to make people feel foolish or victimized to a certain degree, although in some practical jokes there could be an inherent strain of cruelty present

Garra: I like this already. When do we strike?

Vivi: They tried to embarrass me? Fine, they will be twice as embarrassed!

Zell: They got me pretty good, I am with ya guys.

Blank: I never take a blow standing down, Naruto, Zadane, you guys have the most experience in pranks, you guys are the leaders.

And thus the prank war began.

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TSJoaT: well, The war has began!

BloodFox: Sorry, I am not doing my job lately, had personal family matters.

Bloodfox walks out the room, not to be seen for a chapter or two.

TSJoaT: I am going miss him.

Tucker: Dude, shut up.

TSJoaT: DIE (Did the flash step, and sheaves a small dagger after wards.)

TSJoaT: What are you missing?

Tucker: FuCK!

Alien Baby: ARRGGG!

4319857=4375=3-4875-394875-=349875-934875

Team Final Element VS. Team Mage Olympians.

Naruto- The Team leader

Zadane- The Right hand man

Zell Dincht- The left hand man

Vivi- The one person you don't want mess with.

Blank- The Logic

Garra- The Fear

VS!

Harry Potter- Co-Team Leader…The Logic

Percy Jackson- Co-Team Leader…The Tactics

Fred Weasley-Speck for them selves

George Weasley-Speck for them selves

Connor Stoll-Speck for them selves

Travis Stoll-Speck for them selves


	3. Chapter 3

TSJoaT: Hello everyone, I brought Sasuke Uchiha here to give him a lesson in humility.

Sasuke: Get ready to die.

TSJoaT: Ha ha. Very funny. I null all power you have (Raises hand, and Sasuke falls over weak.)

Sasuke: What did you do to me!

TSJoaT just gives him the 'come on' hand sign from the matrix, and gets into a boxer position.

Sasuke thinking: Ok, I can still use tijutsu.

He charges TSJoaT, and tried to do a flip, but fell on his ass. TSJoaT grabbed the leg, pulling, and stomped on his balls.

TSJoaT: This is what happens when you always use inhansed strangth in a fight. Once its gone, its hard to adapt if your not a hard worker who has natural body memory. Your eye dosn't have that. If someone used a few seals on you in your world, the same thing would happen.

Sasuke: Then why don't I just blow you away with jutsu? Its natural, so I am betting its not gone!

TSJoaT: Why don't I just blow you away with a shotgun? And yes, it is gone.

TSJoaT is loading a shotgun, and then cocks it. Sasuke is reaching for chakra, but can't feel any in his system.

Sasuke: Touché

Sasuke charges TSJoaT, and TSJoaT just shoots at his feet.

TSJoaT: Dude, never charge someone with a gun if they know you mean to hurt them.

Sasuke backs the hell off, and TSJoaT unloads the shotgun, checking it twice, then sets the shells and the gun off to the side, and gets up, ready for a fight.

Sasuke charges, and punches. TSJoaT catch his arm, and he tries to kick TSJoaT's head, he falls on his ass, TJSoaT lets go, and takes two steps back, and Sasuke jumps at TSJoaT from the ground, coming up short, TSJoaT kicks him in the chest, and then in the nuts.

TSJoaT: That is what happens when you do fancy attacks with out natral power. You suck.

Sasuke: Why could I not counter?

TSJoaT: You had too much faith in your attacks, which you knew you couldn't do at the time.

Sasuke: But I am way too fast for you, how?

TSJoaT: Nope. Your not, all your sped that you used to have was mostly chakra inhansed speed.

Sasuke: I will not lose!

TSJoaT: two strikes, one more and you're going to be raped by fangirls.

Sasuke: Why would I hate that? I mean, so long as they don't talk, and just work, I won't mind.

TSJoaT: I thought you were gay, sooo…..

Sasuke: No I am not, I just don't like fangirls, and I am cursed by them.

TSJoaT: Ok, I will set fanboys. I know someone that can summon them.

Sasuke: You wouldn't.

TSJoaT just gets into a fighting position, and charges.

Sasuke thinking: Wait, this is different, he always had me attack….

TSJoaT just took Sasuke's punch in the shoulder, and grabbed his arm, and twisted.

Then he moved quickly behind Sasuke, and held his arm in back of him. Sasuke tried to get out using his 'superior strength' which he no longer had, but TSJoaT kicked the back of his left leg at the joint, dropping Sasuke to his knees, making his attempt to escape turn in TSJoaT's favor.

Then TSJoaT grabbed his hair, and pushed them both to the ground, and held him there, smashing his face into the pavement. Then grabbed his other arm, which was trying to grab TSJoaT. TSJoaT put the hands together, and rest his foot on sasukes hands, and knelled on his lower back, and put pressure, then used one hand to hold his arms just in case he tried to free his hands.

Sasuke: (Chough) How?

TSJoaT: You are still fighting like you have chakra. When you take chakra out of the picture, your olny as strong as a adult who works out every now and then. And you simplily can not adapt quickly to anything. I got your arm, and pined you, nailing your left leg after I took your punch. You fell, messing up your chance to get out.

Sasuke: How did you beat me? I am faster, and have a better fighting style!

TSJoaT: Moron, your not faster then me anymore. To the waiting room for you. I got to call the guy before he summons them.

Sasuke: NO!

TSJoaT sounding very serious: Yes. Unfortunately, you're going to die by a male gay orgy.

Sasuke: Please, anything else, no gay shit, please!

(I wouldn't do it, I am just messing with his head. He is too uptight; I can't help but mess with someone's head like this. Hell, if he got any tighter you could shove a chunk of coal up his ass and come back a week later, he will have a diamond. OH! That must be how his family is so rich, and why they are so pissy all the time.)

Sasuke: Just kill me now!

TSJoaT: Ok, I won't do it.

(Sasuke cries in relief. I pause, wondering if I should be a little less cruel. Nahh, Crueler.)

TSJoaT: I will have ibiki slowly crush your balls.

(I would do that.)

Sasuke cries in morning for his balls, muttering why won't you just kill me…

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Death was laughing his ass off. The villains were recounting stories to each other at how they lost their battles against one foe that should not have stood any chance.

He also was able to show everyone the flashbacks they had, making it clear why the villains felt like morons.

But not some of them, they did not regret a thing. Mostly the younger ones were the ones honestly ready to meet death. Like the ones getting ready to kill the perverts.

Sephieroth and the younger villains were plotting how to kill Orochimaru.

The older men were disgusted with Orochi-jackson and darth sicko. They were going to put up with them, but they were not going to save them.

Death decided to mix it up a little bit when someone complained.

9376-986-83467-

Darth Sidous was explaining to everyone about how he was zapping Luke Skywalker, when the brats father, who was his second in command, and apprentice, grabbed him and tossed him into a hole that led to a powercoil. Then he was brought here, and that was that..

Then he was kick across the room by Darth Vador

Vador: Don't bad mouth me bitch.

Sidous: Aren't you a cripple and all that? I mean, you have no force, how did you hit that hard?

Vador: I am at my prime again, thanks to death.

Sidous: Fuck.

Anyway, they all had a similar story, or they were bad guys that turned good sooner or later. The bad guys found that they all were saved by death, but the ones that turned good were just brought here.

Ganondorf: Ok, we need to do something else. Like, get out of here. This reminds me of the outer darkness too much….

Gravemind: Well, death brought us here, so maybe he can put us back.

Naruku: He would not do that until he gets board with us, so we have to keep him entertained.

Dark Samus: Why? Don't we want to go back?

Taturus: I see. We would go back to the point where we were about to die.

They all looked at him, and all had the same thought.

__How did he say anything intelligent?__

Wolf: Ok, look. We need to do something funny. Hey dark samus, your made out of energy, right, well, aren't you supposed to be hyper and all that?

Dark samus: I am, but not in like that.

60 year old virgin trying the stupid route to getting killed: OH, in bed then?

Death unlocked her straight jacket, and let her kill random old pervert.

Death: Wow, I did not think that was physically possible!

Dark samus was pulling a Tex and was beating him to death with his own body.

3297865-9843765-948376-9384759-8347659-87349758398457

At the same time.

487156-48329567-194875-894375-9837451-987432-985734-98

The hero's side decided to combine all their most powerful attacks to break the wall down.

Cloud: Ok, Explosive power guys.

Squall: Are we sure this will work?

Ichigo: He is right, the true death god brought it up, and only the true death god can take it down.

Inuyasha: The gods never did me a favor; I worked and gained everything I have because of my own hard work and my friends.

Murtagh: Inuyasha is right, the gods are not perfect, or the worlds they rule would also be perfect.

Seifer: Let's just do it.

They went to a vote, and they decided to follow the plan.

More or less keep on blasting the wall till it fell.

Ichigo: This plan sucks!

Eragon: Why don't we just ask?

They all looked at him, and Roran responded first.

Roran: Well, you give it a shot.

DEATH: no need….I will let you blow the wall up for dramatic effect.

Ichigo: That's one of the lamest things I have ever heard.

Death: Ah shut up wanna be. Go suck yourself, and quit having mental pity parties.

Ichigo: Hey, I did not want to be here anyway, so why don't you just set me back where I belong?

Death: I hear Hell is nice this time of year….

Seifer: Man, just give it up No one can win that argument without being damned for all eternity.

Eargon: Let's get this over with. I have to kill Galbatorix.

Death: Ya, not happening.

Muratgh: Why? Wait, do I kill him?

Death. No.

Roran: Me?

Death: No. Now quit asking me!

4097563421-9857324-985743-29857-4938759-834759834

Darth Sidious and Orochimaru were paying their respects to Dumbledore. RIH (Rest in Hell)

Kuja and Sephieroth were plotting on how to have the sickos killed.

Sep: If I had my sword…or just a baseball bat, or a razorblade, butterknife, not being in this jacket….

Kuja: Well, we got to do something to entertain the death god….

(BOOM!)

Sep: Don't worry, that banging has been happening for the last few days.

Kuja: If I get another mental scar from that guy trying to wink at me, I swear…..

Sep: At least the old man with white hair is dead. He had a creepy twinkle in his eyes each time he checked someone out.

Kuja shudders. Kuja: Good thing the robot over cooked the guy. Speaking of which, when do you think people will start to eat each other over food?

Sep: Well, I am trained to survive a month without food, and janova gave me the ability to survive even longer…So I will most likely start to eat everyone's dead bodies like a zombie after three months….

398276923847651-498715984724

Karma: Wow, they do not realize that the mess hall was in the next room…Oh, they forgot to check for hidden doors. I forgot that only the heroes take enough time to look for that kind of thing.

TSJoaT: Fuck.

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Fraya could admire many things. Bravery, Courage, Honor, Respect, Sacrifice, determination, and Love. But never has she admired a prank. Until now that is.

The monkey and Naruto were quite the duo, they thought up of a hundred ways to get the people that pranked them.

That rubber chicken up all six asses was quite the slap to the face.

+FLASHBACK+

Garra was doing black ops on the Weasley twins based off of Naruto's info about them trying to prank him earlier.

They found six people watching the prank from earlier on a T.V. They might as well have given a full written confession.

Blank was with him, to prevent Garra from killing them.

Garra: There, we proved that they did it. Can I kill them?

Blank: No Garra, we want to make them miserable like they did us first.

Garra said noting for a moment.

Garra: Can I just maim them?

Blank: No.

Garra: Come on, I can just crush their—

Blank: NO! A man will not do that to a fellow man if they have any control over the situation.

Harry: Hey guys, did you hear something?

Fred: Oh shut up harry, they can't prove we did it, and starting a prank war based off of nothing is stupid, and we can get even with them much more publicly if they do.

Garra: Good thing I recorded their conversation.

Blank: Lets go, we have to let Naruto and Zadane know.

They ran back, and told Naruto.

Zell: Good, lets go over the plan.

Naruto: Alright, Garra, you put them in a wall of sand. But they normally will use their magic on it.

Zadane: Vivi will pwn them in magic by making the sand wall show gay porn and children shows.

Vivi: Its prearranged spell. Thankfully I don't need to see the images that I put up. I will also put a field of magic over the sand, to make sure they can't teleport like we saw them do in our last ops mission.

Naruto: Zell, you will use your draw ability to take the prank spells they used on us and use them on them. Use silence on them also, I will make shadow clones and prank trap the area for when they get out.

Zadane: I will go in and steal the prank video they have, and replace it with a video of icha-icha paradise, MEGA GAY version. This will scar them for life when they decide to watch the prank again.

Garra: This is fun and all, but Can I have another role to play when I am done?

Naruto: Of course, the guy who was using water, you can use your sand to make mud and fight him for dominance in elemental command. If he brings up water, counter him. Blank can use stage magic's inside of it to distract him so you can have the upper hand.

Zadane: I will write the message on the wall, and then we get ready for a counter prank.

They nodded, and Zell asked a question.

Zell: Garra, what were they doing?

Garra: Watching the movie of the prank they did to us.

They all were quite.

Zadane: let's get them.

+END FLASH BACK+

They set out. Blank found a nice spot, and set up camera one, and then found three more spots and set up cameras there also.

Blank put his thumb up when he was ready.

Vivi was preparing the spells, and Zell was ready. He already memorized the spells they have used on them, and found them He drew shadow clone technique from Naruto, and could summon ten shadow clones nine times. Blasted prepaid spells, dead useful, but once you're out your stuck unless you just so happen to have enough MP to make the same spell, and he was not trained to do that.

Eleven Zells were running around getting ready to do this. Zell smirked. He was going to have someone draw magic off of him until they had one hundred, and then he was going to draw off of them. A new spell, a dead useful one. Each time one of them drew, he could use the spells they had. So when they were around, he could have 352 different spells ready for him. He did not know if there were that many spells anyway. He was going to draw spells and abilities from people, and bring them back to his universe. Then he will let others take magic from him, and then it will spread. His allies will have superior magic, and tactics. Also, he could draw from each of them. Cool.

And the price was just getting revenge on a bunch of twits. Awesome.

He used two more shadow clone spells, and now 31 Zells were running around.

He was going to get as much spells as possible.

Garra made his move, and once they were trapped, Zell, Zadane, Naruto, and Vivi made their move.

Vivi gave the horrible images, and reinforced the sand to make it so they could not escape, and make it unbreakable.

Naruto was trapping the area, and was quick at it.

Zadane was blasting the sand, making it glass bit by bit. Vivi started to help him. Zell was collecting magic, and imprinting the magic to his Summons, so that whenever he used shadow clone, they would have the magic they had last time.

"AHHHHH!"

Zadane: Vivi, I thought that is was sound proof!

Vivi: That was the sound of a many souls getting horrible scars for life.

Zadane moved in, and put a blind fold on. He had Naruto dig a hole, and Zadane moved in, grabbed the movie, and left.

Then he put the evil video in, and got zapped.

The guys were fighting blind, and screaming, throwing stunners randomly.

Zadane was out, hit by a stunner.

Percy was the only one having his eyes open. He was trying to physically block the images, and was getting blocked or distracted by sand, and random curses. Him combating the sand, was a true challenge.

They were done, and were recording it all.

Naruto: We have to save him!

Fraya was watching the whole thing from afar, and naruto ran in, everyone yelling at him not to.

Naruto went in, and heroically went into the hole, and got Zadane, and tossed him down the hole, Naruto then got tackled, and yelled down the hole

Naruto: GO! I can handle this!

B lank grabbed Zadane, and ran.

Blank thinking: Well, at least the one time when I was left behind was not as cruel. Sorry Naruto.

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Percy's POV

Percy was just sitting and waiting with the guys. They were thinking of what to do next, Pranking someone is not a health hobby, and this was hopefully a onetime deal.

Then a dome of sand came up, and then the evil pictures.

Percy closed his eyes, having trained to be able to fight in the dark. The stoll brothers did the same, and the wizard twins were screaming, shooting spells. Harry was closing his eyes and thinking.

Percy was trying to use his water to blast the dome away, but it was turning into glass, and sand was getting in the way. It became a battle of the elements, and then he heard digging.

The stoll brothers heard this, and prepared to attack. The wizard twins now crying, and harry shot a stunner at the hole when a monkey boy popped out, and dodged the stoll brothers, and took the video.

Then everyone was getting magic used on them, just like the prank spells….but the twins were not using them, nor harry…

Percy: They are using magic on us!

But no sound was coming out of his mouth.

Then someone came in, and saved the first guy, the twins tried to hold him down once they saw he save the monkey boy, and then he was stunned.

Then they got out, and left the blonde guy in, and sealed the hole.

Hey walked out, and then everyone was getting stuck in trees, having pies fly in their face, getting flour in their face, tripped, getting smacked, and then the ultimate one. They each had a rubber chicken shoved up their asses once they all got trapped, their screams were quite load...He used water to prevent it happening to him, but failed sooner or later.

Ouch. Big time ouch.

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Fraya was a little mad at Naruto being left behind, and had them go save him. But Zadane was still out, Vivi and Zell were low on magic, Garra was tired, and that meant blank had to save him.

Blank unsealed the hole, and got him. Naruto taught him the shadow clone technique in gratefulness.

Fraya took care of Naruto, but was a little worried. Naruto was stuck in the gayest trap ever, and was taught according to him, by 'the most perverted teachers in history'.

Fraya admittedly started to like the boy; he saved Zadane in the face of danger, and paid a heavy price for it.

Pulse he loved orange. And guess what, her favorite color was orange.

She stops taking care of the others to watch the blonde boy sleeping for a moment, and left the clearing. She had things to do.

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BOOOOMMM!

The wall fell, and the heroes saw the villains, and the villins had their moment for one thought.

_OH FUCK! WE STILL HAVE THE STRIGHT JACKETS ON!_

The heroes started to crack there knuckles, and bring out there weapons.

Sep and Kuja: Well, this is interesting.

Their jackets were off, and _

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TSJoaT: Well, that is that. I am cutting it short as a Cliff hanger!

Angula: You suck sometimes.

TSJoaT: Ya, So? Hey, where are the connon fodder?

Sergeant Johnson: The reds and blues went back to their story a while ago.

Sirius Black: I do believe that Tex is beating Church with his own body right now.

Kenichi: You can't be serious?... Don't say it.

Sirius just grinned

Angula: But he is Sirius.

Kenichi: I give.

Angula and Sirius do a high five.

Sergeant Johnson: You just owned him my brother.

Kenichi: But he is not black…OH, you guys suck!

TSJoaT: See ya all later.


	4. Chapter 4

I am sorry, but I must go to Texas, and be with my grandma in these trying times.

I will not up date for a while on ANY of my stories. My friend will do bata work, and talk on Challengers challenge chat room, to get opinions.

Please understand dear readers…that blood comes before anything. NO. MATTER. WHAT.


End file.
